...who lovingly whispers "Horse."

March 2012

Allow me to tell you about a time when I made my way down the bike path to visit my dear brother horse...

Now I had seen him with his mother grazing in the grass at the corner of Beeline Road and 147th day after day after day... and for some reason once upon a time I had it in my head and heart enough to move me outside of my schedule and outside of my home to walk down to the corner and see if I might greet him.

So on purpose it was that I brought myself down there... and the walk it was much longer than I had anticipated... but when I arrived, sure enough there he was out beyond a small pond drinking whereupon he lifted his head and saw me and regarded me and took his approach there to me... and I sat quietly at that fence in amazement at his approach, eagerness to come and investigate and be with me... and not each of us, mind you, he and I, without some fear and trembling.

And let me relay to you that here, upon our very first ever meeting, what I knew... I knew the wildness and softness in his eyes and lashes long and lovely... I knew the twitch of his careful ears back fearful... forward trusting reaching out... I knew the suede of his hide deep red on pure white painted... I knew the touch of a silken mane weightless on the wind and feathering my face my cheek my skin my lips... the warm nuzzling of lips and nose soft as a summer peach... and his breath upon my neck... the fresh air sustaining his life breathed out over me... breath of life breath of God breath of dear brother horse I knew... and what love that day...

That day indeed whereupon I told myself as though making the profoundest commitment... a vow of fresh fidelity and brotherly love... as I rode away I said to him -- I'll be back my friend, more than you know -- I'll be back...

But sadly it was not so, as upon returning to home and to computer and e-mail, to schedule and commitments and cell phone and voicemail and to rush and tumble and tangle of too many things for too few days which I chose and I chose and I chose... sadly it was not so... and though I drove past him in my van day by day at miles and miles per huffing hurried hour... I did choose to visit him not... and knew full well the sadness of it...

Until that day when the sun was warm and some grace of space was open to me and I decided to stop - pull the car over and get me out to go to him and reunite... I did so with the timid expectation of a prodigal son. But sadly, So sadly as I made my way over... I saw the green grass of his pasture and I saw the quiet pond where he and his mother usually drank... but as I got closer I soon discovered that I would see him not for both of them were gone, had gone away I knew not where nor when they would return.

So somewhat dismayed I took myself down another path... over a hillock or two through a swell of rich sweet soil... down several yawning acres over bridge and stream following the path across farmy fields with many rows of tall drying corn... and in that effortless sense that one can have, so much like flight when flowing down a quiet path, I sorted through my sadness at missing the very presence of my horse brother who had how long waited for me... while I had so much other living to do?

But over time I, nevertheless, gave myself some grace in retrospect figuring along the way I had done the best I could and that maybe it would have to be another time and another choice I would make to go and see him again. And just shortly after entering into this resolve, this new found peace and readiness, I thought, it now being sunny and rather warm, to pause for a moment and find me some shade. Up ahead I saw a broad shawl of Maple leaves held out over the pathway cool and waiting and then as one sometimes does when waking from a dream I blinked my eyes -- and I lived and moved and breathed and in an instant I was there.

There... I was... beneath the blessing bough of a tree, eyes resting low unfocused along the pine nettled floor of a grove, beside another fence... there I was... approached by a lovely Dappled Gray... who saw me before I saw her... who was with curious gladness readiness openness loping over to me so full of living horseness... I looked up and there she was coming close to me as a living God might do.

A God ready to nuzzle close and breathe upon me again... a God knowing me and wanting me known -- to know another horse... another way will always come... and that love will outreach longing as I live and move and breathe, horse after horse after horse.