I only want to make thoughtful choices. Simple and efficient. Think clearly, be decisive, I'll be fine.
She walked for 24 hours without stopping for more than a pause to smell something, make the occasional analysis as to the edibility of a given glob on the sidewalk. Under a park bench, while it poured rain, she managed only one full facial from a cab that blew up a puddle nearly hitting the curb to get around a Swanson's delivery truck.
She was kicked by a man near the corner of the apartment near the garbage can where he liked to pick through fresh drop-offs – on his own apparently. She wondered how the man had gathered any information about her mother and why someone would pour forth such horrible and inaccurate commentary about someone's family member, none of which should ever be shared in the first place with anyone, irrespective of whether or not the claims could be substantiated. Clearly he and her mother had never met.
The night was dark and murky and the winds howled in between the downtown district filled with its ten to twenty story buildings where she soon discovered there would be much light but little opportunity to slip in somewhere unnoticed. The glow of the place felt strangely comfortable however. The bright windows of the storefronts glowed warmly and it felt like being at home watching the big screen, only the wet concrete was no place to curl up and try to turn in for the evening.
No, after several more hours, finally she discovered an alley with an overflowing dumpster whose bags filled with garbage were more cushy and plump than stinky and so she nestled in between a few of them and circled herself around four times into one perfect Burmese bull's-eye. Her tummy was soft beneath her chin.
Some kids from around the neighborhood piled up on the bags beside her and smoked reefer for nearly 2 hours.
Zoe breathed deeply.
She slept.
And she slept and she slept the most beautiful sleep that a tired sleeper would want to hear about. She slept in dreams that moved in soft blue light throughout an expansive ether, an ever opening universe expanding outward and drawing all things into deeper complexity, connection and beauty… God's glory set ablaze right before her dazzling eyes… As when the autumn came… As when she slept nestled under leaves of gold, those thrown over her by Angel after Angel, winged and running and thrown into embrace… Sleep and dream the power of the love of God – throw it to your heart and out through all your bones… Sleep Zoe… Sleep… Dream your blue dream through me…
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